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Relationship guru gets Airmen, families speaking the same language

Dr. Gary Chapman autographs a copy of his "5 Love Languages" military edition book at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Dozens of attendees lined up to speak with the visiting author, many of which had additional relationship books from him, noting how they benefited from reading them. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman autographs a copy of his "5 Love Languages" military edition book at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Dozens of attendees lined up to speak with the visiting author, many of which had additional relationship books from him, noting how they benefited from reading them. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman speaks to Airmen and family members on the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. The Fairchild chaplain corps brought the speaker to the base to inform residents on how military life presents its own unique stresses and can negatively affect interpersonal relationships, in turn compromising morale and mission effectiveness. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman speaks to Airmen and family members on the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. The Fairchild chaplain corps brought the speaker to the base to inform residents on how military life presents its own unique stresses and can negatively affect interpersonal relationships, in turn compromising morale and mission effectiveness. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman presents the "5 Love Languages" to Airmen and families at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. According to Chapman's book: not everyone uses the same "language" to communicate how they care about others. The book illustrates the five major methods to include affirmative words, caring touch, giving gifts, acts of service and spending quality time. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman presents the "5 Love Languages" to Airmen and families at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. According to Chapman's book: not everyone uses the same "language" to communicate how they care about others. The book illustrates the five major methods to include affirmative words, caring touch, giving gifts, acts of service and spending quality time. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman autographs a complimentary copy of his "5 Love Languages" military edition book at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Chapman spent up to an hour after each presentation to speak with attendees and sign free copies of his book. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman autographs a complimentary copy of his "5 Love Languages" military edition book at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Chapman spent up to an hour after each presentation to speak with attendees and sign free copies of his book. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman, relationship councilor and author, speaks to Airmen and families about the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. The "5 Love Languages" highlights the various and often unspoken communication styles of how people express affection for others. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Dr. Gary Chapman, relationship councilor and author, speaks to Airmen and families about the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. The "5 Love Languages" highlights the various and often unspoken communication styles of how people express affection for others. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Airmen react to a presentation by Dr. Gary Chapman on the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Chapman created a military edition of his "5 Love Languages" book and has toured many military bases over the past three years to share it's message. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

Airmen react to a presentation by Dr. Gary Chapman on the "5 Love Languages" at the Fairchild Air Force Base theater, 1 August, 2018. Chapman created a military edition of his "5 Love Languages" book and has toured many military bases over the past three years to share it's message. (U.S. Air Force photo/Senior Airman Ryan Lackey)

FAIRCHILD AIR FORCE BASE, Wash. -- Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned relationship counselor and author of “The 5 Love Languages,” hosted three seminars for Team Fairchild Airmen about understanding ways of showing love to significant others, coworkers and family members Aug. 1.

Chapman collaborated with Jocelyn Green on a military edition of his book after working with several chaplains about the unique challenges and stresses of military life.

“Military members have relationship challenges that are unique to them,” Chapman said. “That’s what I’m trying to address so people walk away with an understanding of how to keep love alive past the initial “in-love” experience by learning how to speak their partner’s love language.”

Chapman places love languages in five categories:
• “Words of Affirmation” seekers are people that enjoy hearing “I love you” and other compliments. They value what people say, especially kind words from those they’re close to.
• The “Quality Time” language is all about giving undivided attention to someone. When someone makes time in their busy schedule for them, they feel highly valued.
• “Receiving gifts” doesn’t mean being greedy; thoughtfulness is weighed far more heavily than expense for those who are this type.
• Expressing affection via “Acts of Service” is for people that prefer to do something kind to express affection, and they enjoy it in return.
• Many best express caring through “Physical Touch,” and enjoy hugs, holding hands or even a firm handshake and slap on the back.

Learning how others feel valued is an invaluable resource that works in both the home and at work, and helps to promote communication, build bonds and promote stress relief.

“This is about stress-relieving communication … because if you’re troubled at home then you can’t focus at work,” said Capt. Juan Reyes, 92nd Air Refueling Wing chaplain. “When your spouse or family feels loved, then it frees you to focus more on the mission.”

The languages go beyond intimate relationships and extend to other family members, friends and coworkers. Such insights can prove invaluable for young Airmen learning how to manage military service, work and a social life.

“I found the book to have good insights,” said Airman Olivia Simione, 92nd ARW religious affairs specialist. “I’m not married, but I now feel more equipped to communicate and be closer to God, my friends and family.”

For more information about “The 5 Love Languages” and other relationship building resources, visit or contact the Base Chapel at 509-247-2264.